1/30/2006

A is for Allah


Maybe its just the moustache, but im mighty convinced that more than the hands of the clock are tightening their grip on everyones most loved singer. makes me wonder what else those mexicans are bringin through those tunnels i been readin about...to get to the bottom of this i did what every other respectable journalist would do: write the president of mexico to see what the fuck was up; heres what i got back in the mail two days ago.

Oh snap! how we gunna get that bad mother back? i couldnt think of anyone to call or anything to do, so i went to dick cheney's and smoked some pcp to calm the nerves, then it hit me: the pcp, like a motherfuckin freight train pushin a mack truck. my head exploded;it was rainin dannons strawberry banana yogurt; and i was in puerto rico all of a sudden on the beach with neil young and gerry garcia

after i eased into that mental train wreck shit was mighty groovy, me and neil did some cortez that lastest 2 days and just soaked up the sunshine. the whole time jerry was doing all this "talking" and "thinking" and "making a plan" whatev.
when the banoonoos and darrylstrawberrys started tasting like regular rain again jerry suggested that we just exhume selena, throw some chalupa's on her and give her to el presidente. me and neil we're all ginked out so we told him to go for it

Sho'nuff El presidente fell for it and we got bob back!
So todays lesson is Me minus bob Plus d-chen times PCP=Neil young Plus jerry garcia times puerto rican yogurt minus selena and chalupa's, i think.

Peace and carrots.

Ginkoff Basic Training

Luc Longley
R.W. Hearst
Maggots
Steve Perry
Thighmaster
Silent Service
Rednecks
Cleavage

Your 1st Ginkoff Champion

Hat's off for the birth of the O.G.

1/29/2006

1/28/2006

Top Ten movies everyone should own


10. An instant classic.


9. Not even a waste of space.













8. I hope you don't think I'm fucking around.


7. The truth is...it is better than the first!


6. I've raped tons of women watching this movie.













5. It doesn't get old like Carls Jr. on acid.












4. I'm watching you watch me watch myself masturbate. Better than 007.













3. I love women, beer and Mac and Me.












2. John Lennon is on vacation. Jesus ate lots of pork.













1. What's this life for? You're looking at it.

1/27/2006

Oh hells nah, come on lando lets get drunk du-fu on these trick ass mark ass tricks.


oh snap.
it happened.
while i was downloading some killer porn at some amazingly high speeds today. i came across this shit Ginkworldturns out some assmonkey thinks he's all hot by running this super huge blog trying to make duckets off our hard workin minority labor.
heres the dude right here
turns out: hes a pastor. a pastor who looks like he could kick some major ass in the name of the big J.C.
hes also the founder of www.ginkworld.net which is like some huge christian gathering spot where they get together and close their minds. I didnt see any gink-offs; not one image of lesbians. and they didnt know a damn thing about gink in a bottle. some kind of gink world that they live in. so if you like heroin, godzilla, and making fun of nelson mandela: rockout with your cock out; but if youre all about putting people in the stone cold stunner in the name of christianity: get the fuck out.

P.S. I love you jesus, are we still doin dinner and a movie at myplace tomorrow?

Forget Tapitio, it's new Gink in a bottle

Tired of all those hot sauces that just dont do the job, tired of all them tasting the same, tired of asking yourself when they're gonna come out with a new kind of pepper so the shit will be good?!
Well forget all that stupid shit, just try Gink, in its new sauce form, all the awsome, wholesome, fun-loving taste of Gink in a bottle. You can put it on anything, but its especially great on Gink!!!
And not only does it go good on food, its a fresh scent odor killer. Its a great replacement for anti-freeze, gas, lighter fluid, water, hand soap, carpet cleaner, and every other use your little peanut brain could think of!!!!

IT'S ONE OF A KIND!!!!

NO KIDDING!!!!

So buy it today!!
(minimum supply, act now)

1/26/2006

Celeb news of the Gink

Hark! Alas this homo-erotic sensual alternative Buddy Holly glasses wearing grammy award winning casual donkey sex band has announced that they are releasing a new album. High off of the sucess of their last great accomplishment they have rearranged the quartet's tightly linked friendship and created a supergroup status machine ready to rip the assholes out of your pants. The band has signed on Blacky Lawless of W.A.S.P to give them the cock-rocket edge the band lacks. Fronting for lead guitar work is none other than the corpse of Randy Rhoads. Lead Vocals has switched to Better than Ezra's leading lady Kevin Griffin. All of the original band members will still occupy some space backstage and on. Considering they have the physical prowess of 12 year old girls they will be rhoadies and back up vocalists.
The new album of course and you guessed it will be called GINKERTON. Sources say that they were, "Fed up with partying with Mel Brooks' feces that music just didn't cum natural anymore". Kevin Federline lent a hand in producing and Rick Rueben sucked his cock. They chose a barn on an obscure river in Georgia where anal rape is rampant. Hats off to these guys for making another great and audible peice of kick ass gink. I love to listen to these guys when I'm lonely and crying. It tickles my taint.

Gink of the week


Yeah, you guys know this guy. its tom from myspace. the man who single handedly turned the whole world into a page owning asian. Asians love Myspace for being able to keep in touch with other Asians. Way to go tom, china's taking over.

It's natural even your girlfriend does it...a lot...I've noticed.

what makes every man cream?
how does life end up being what it is?
is reality even real?
what kind of car should you buy?
is she really that pretty?
would you let her do you the same way you are doing her?
is it really worth it?
is that grape juice?
what does it mean when someone says, "Man I just took a deuce!"

Who's got the Ginkoff?

1/24/2006

Its all about the ginkfist baby

Hotdamn Condolezza you dirt jezzebelle

wtf is going on
did i miss a god damned memo again
this is like when i wore my bday suit on casual friday
not casual.
so i just now tried to get a cup of joe
and we're out
i had english class today, and all we did is talk politics
cause we have a chink. a nazi and an escobar in our class
and we talked about how their rights suck and how wed kill em
in a war, or in football
i didnt do or say anythin though
this chick had this killer rack that id love to bury for 3 weeks
then dig em up like a rabid dog and bite their neck off.
i havent drank, smoked weed in prolly 3-4 days?
havent smoked a cig in that many as well.
too bad we just got a new pope
or id be in like a skinny indian.

strange guy with the ginkeye


if you thought gink was bad, check out the ginkeye! and those teeth! he prolly left them in the ground for three weeks before putting them in his mouth!

I know you stole it

Has anyone seen my pizza?

Ginkoff Semis


1/23/2006

Gink is my favorite color. or is it colour?

The Only member of zztop without a beard, is Frank Beard.
Statistically only 3 people alive right now will live to be 116.
Gink must be buried for 3 weeks before it is considered "Gink", until then its "Fucking Nasty"
There are 61,000 people 30,000ft above us right now in planes.
I just ate some rice.
I have to shit.
Probably because of it.

Ginkoff battle 4

It's in your Mouth. Lron

(_______(_)
(_))

Dizzy dick on Grehound Lite cow surfing

greatest beer known to man
hottest bitch on the planet
the guy who birthed four systems in one night
i need one of these
you can't take me away from my use of narcoleptic anthropic dyspeptic diarretic manic
satanic panic analytic dictate lactate menstrate populate blip slip dick trips.

I stole this menu from Mcdonalds

1/22/2006

Fmin in your emo deathmetal transit porn

I partied with these people all night...we ended up in a iron factory doing blow
out of some crackwhores asshole. That's why they call me the king of the gink eye.


This is Dave Gruel from the Poo Fighters. Nice guy. Can't drum worth shit. Shoots roids
through his blue vain.


Oh man this is ZardoZ. This lil' niggro got Yakuza sluts and broke into the Rock and Roll
hall of fame and personally signed every guitar in there. Great Guy. Ginks out with the
best.

This is our supply man. Galixio Johnson-O'Neal. That's all I can say about him
because he's a bad man. Really bad man.

3rd reich dianetics

1/20/2006

Ginkoff battle 2uece

So I'm fuckin my wife in the ass last night, Right?

And i says to myself. Holy shit, when was the last time someone poured out a lil liquor for Jonathan Brandis. Poor old asthmatic Gary Gabrewski who kicked ass with chuck norris, Passed away at the ripe age of 27. Unlike other members of the 27 club such as kurt cobain jimi hendrix janis joplin jim morrison and alanis morrisette, Jonathan brandis Kicked major ass on the guitar and did major amounts of heroin.
well we still love you big poppa


rest in peace lilnigga.

1/19/2006

Ginkoff battle ichi


Dykes GODZILLA


Sitting on the dock of the Gink

Home was once a place I called meatball snowflakes.
A desert of candy coated cocaine smiles.
Halos collectively made Metatron a dancing muse
to frighten the demons in the glow of a ramparts thwart
to resist the common barrage of coyote shit.
Jebus Bettis came from the heavens and granted Dan Marino
a losers ring. The uno ring.
I mastered the fallacy untold to tribesman before they circumsize the
alpha female.
Binky the clown never had waffles this good.
Nor did Barry Manilow when he faught Humperdink for the crown of
jewel theif minor sector z in the ngc clusterfuck.
Merriment flutters seagul waste into the redolent air of spring.
An autumn suicide succulent cacti.
Barcoded engrained groved branded to be ka-ka con carne.
Embers of a holocaust still shine in the back of my lovelorn mind.
I pine the existent reason to a bitter jaded dusk where pen and pad meet
whale semen of the shores of Corpus Christi.
Fog is so thick I could cut it with gink bones.
Yemen is the birthplace of the Anti-Heist.
A Bob Dylan coverband will be the domino of his masterplan.
I fight Sentinels without Adamantium claws and still come out unscathed.
Earplugs help the excess bleeding halt its river rafting journey out of the
second urethra in the Krakens phallic wonder.
If you do not heed an augury such as this.
You will take an infinite shit.
And drink from the well of goat piss.

Fashionable Gink

This week, in some boring sandy place, Osama offered america a truce. Whatever pussy.what is more remarkable though is the fact that osama is spending more on top end towels for his natty locks.
here we can see some versace camel top which kicks major ass


here the bombdroppa sports a new hi-tec look which is the all the rage with pakastanis or some fuckin stanis

heres the new american classic 80's shit

that shit kicks some tight acid wash ass

1/18/2006

8====D- - - - -(_o_)

I just came. 2wice

Celeb News of the Gink

Nickleback changed there name
to Bare-Back and quit music
in the sweet soveriegn name
of their home Canadia.
Chad Kroger is doing gay porn
films now under the alias "Nad Croaker"
the rest of the band are flight attendendts
on various Japanese airlines and stand-ins
for Ryan Seacrest's back waxer Bernadine.
She takes me places, and buys me fruit.

Specialty

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Stop child Porn

I seen him do it