America the brave

Celebs who look like Celebs

Richard D James and our good buddy Axl Rose. Aphex Twins???

Velma my sweet fuck chicken

Joe Dumars fucked up comics from beyond the grave he isn't in yet but will be some day before coca cola sends me that package I won from a Holiday Inn

Sportin' speedos kiddos. I hate dharma. Blow me out of proportion and call me Oprah! I had a fun fun fun time last night. I didn't do shit! 4:00 in the morning sucked because I was woken up by my alchoholic roomate singing Van Morrison with some undisclosed girl in the backround. Then someone decided to power wash the streets for tourists. 4 in the morning goddamnit what did the world decide to go to sleep in the daytime? Mammals are getting more fucked up by the moment. That's why I have a cheese grader, butterscotch, a fifth of peppermint, a picture of Howard Taft and my dicks hanging out below my ankles. I'm going to lube my dick up with butterscotch cheese grade it then pour schnapps all over it and fuck a picture of Howard Taft while calling my friends girlfriend and telling her that she needs to bend over and take one for the vertically challenged. Eat my taint in a sundae I'm bottlerocket stew!

Official Biography of Richard M. Nixon

Richard Milhous Nixon was the 37th President of the United States of America.

Now on to the fun stuff:

Nixon is the best american to be born in America. Can you believe this son of a bitch was twice elected Vice president and Twice elected President. Fucking phenominal. I know its cool to hate on Nixon, but not here at Ginkfist.Nixon was up to all sorts of ass backwardness whilst in thine whitehouse. which is what politics is all about. He was the first president to put Affirmative Action into legislation, yet was a known Anti-semitic bastard.(smart people talk for jew hater)Was born Richard Milhous Nixon 200 hundred years ago, but went by the alias "Nick" while serving in the navy during World War II (WWdos habla ¡Es Español!); Ended the vietnam war, yet started the briefly lived and aptly named Richard Nixon Vs John Kennedy for a Chicken Nugget before Chicken Nuggets had all white meat.(which he lost in two hours, fourteen minutes.)Thats about all he did in his eighty-one years on the planet, the rest of the time was spent betweem Poker;
watching football games; and drinking beer and playing golf. In October 1972, The Washington post said, that the fbi said, that richard nixon said to some dudes:"yo hombre, break into a hotel and fuck with the democrats." but it panned out not be such a big deal, because no one gave a shit about democrats. he spent the rest of his days endorsing Liberty medical Supply, with best friend and weed man: wilford brimley

The 43 Chambers of death son.

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Higher Calling? 1-800-FUC-KGOD

To become king and throne alike. Any Toolfan will tell you. Any NEW-AGE Guru will sell you. And I for one am fed up with. The grand'ol higher being quest! The journey into the unknown but known by so many. A frivol search to attain a greater being that what we have now. What is better than what we have now! Nothing in my eyes. I can go out sell crack rock to pussy and get some pussy and sell pussy all in one job. I can shoot who I want when I want but that doesn't make me a killer. It makes me a human being. Do you want to shoot people with lazer beams coming out of your astral mind when you rebirth into some new ascent dimension? I'm sure they don't have astral blood but beams of RGB, ROYGBIV, CMYK semen oscillating from their Alex Grey veins. It's an attempt to understand the dissapearance of good ol' Enoch. Trying to touch angels with your tippy toes. I've seen Stargate people. Kurt Russel ascended into Posiedon with great expectations.

Do you want to get this tattoo on your stomach? You should put it on your face so everyone knows what kind of shit you are into. This stupid drawing refers to nothing but ancient Egyptian aesthetics. A symbol of Pharoahs authority eye of Ra blah blah blah. But what about Metatron and the five platonic solids? It's just the planets and some polygonal crap. It's the same shit you use when you play Dungeons and Dragons. Those little dice.

I'm pretty sure we have all seen this before as well. The study of the torah has preached on about this buddy. Give up sacred geometry because it wont tell you anything. It will teach you how to be a badass and take small spoons from small people. Sephirot is just a strain of pot you can smoke on vacation with your little cult. And Kool-Aid is what you drink! Homos climb the tree of life!

Tool is not a way of life.
Maynard will not play at your sweet 16 birthday party arranged by reality networks.

Now here I have a piece of Geometry that will enlighten you and tell you what to do. It tells you that grandiose plans of life and how to deal with real problems by real people. It touches things on your body that you wouldn't even touch. It takes you to a plane of consciousnes everyone is getting into. No St. Peter, no fiery chariots, no praying under a tree for epochs, not even a dabble into the occult will get you this finely tuned symbolism of divinity. Here I show you the secret to my Bodhisattva:

Ginkoff Week 3.1

I blame the white man and the white man should know its true.

When a white army battles Indians and wins, it is called a great victory, but if they lose it is called a massacre. -Chiksika, Shawnee

Here's my tribute redman!

Prevo means pervert. I'm lobbing wet ones on the counter!

Happy Al roker Day, Eh?

Shit. Shit. Shitshitshit. So i fucked up. i was hittin "the ole crystal" "again." and i said that Al roker was a "fatass" probably about 3 or 4 times when i was ranting aboot memorial day. Turns out Al roker lost 100 pounds from his 320 pound self, in 2002, after his late father had a dying wish that al roker go through with Gastric Bypass Surgery. So uh. imagine how i feel, i just offended a dead guys dying wish, and i am no longer quite the roker fan i thought i was. all in the middle of a crazy crystal meth bender. So i started crying and listening to Saves the Day, who's initial's are conviently STD
then i thought to myself, HEY ITS NOT MY FAULT. which is a great thought, always. Turns out: I live in Alaska, and i was living here when roker got on the laxative diet. and since the News FORGETS about ALASKA, how the hell am i supposed to find out? so, way to go Roker congrats on losing your better half, or fatter worse half, whatever. and uh thanks alot cnn, im switching to Fox news and voting Republican, AGAIN.

Happy Memorial Day, Eh?

Top of the mornin Ginkerton. Happy memorial day to all you fucks out there. tip your hat to the veteran's you know and dont. without them we wouldn't kick so much ass. and then we would get taken over by the chinese. which might rock cause recently JB took over china. but i think theyll take it back from him, then take us over. then ginkfist would be gone. i doubt the chinese read ginkfist. but none the less, lets get to the point of memorial day: Memories. Heres an idea for a fuckin memory: ALASKA. that place that came up with such great idea's as: The Alaskan Bar & Hotel, Alaskan Beer, and Lemon Creek Correctional Facility. Im sick and tired of being excluded from Al roker's fatass at 4am when im sittin there smoking insane amounts of crystal meth trying to figure out if i need to wear my salvation army flannel, or my St. Vincent De Paul Parka. its bullshit. I can understand forgetting about hawaii, theyre practically the crumbs under the table.
So tip your hat to those who served, decorate some graves of fallen soldiers. Vote for nader, and spark a doobie to get off this crystal bender and relax to al roker's fatass soothing voice. and most of all Remember where you are, even if others dont: ALASKA. and if your not in alaska, we'll i hope you dont get carjacked,raped,hooked on meth, or end up on reality television, cause i think thats all that really happens "down south" and by down south i mean "Those confederate good ole boys, and theyre nice northerner friends; minus alaska."

Here's what happen when you turn your back on Ginkfist

Bad shit man, bad shit. make sure to read it everyday.

I've been alone

Dude, just tell him where you hid the gink

Bauer knows something.

Al qaeda Heaven.

Wait, so i blew myself up for this? i thought i was getting 7 virgins. i bet even that camels been laid by that hotdog salesman.

JB FOR CHINAMEN OF THE YEAR!

I tell you what

When a man loves a woman he really loves Oklahoma.

Having an orgasm is not as painful as telling the truth.

If weed isn't addictive why am I still listening to the Macarena?

Chumbawumba is actually an Navajo burial right of passage. In recent years Dick Cheney found out you can conjure Chumbawumba while quail hunting. Go figure D. Chain.

I like to take sweet tarts and put them in a can before I snort 13 lines of alka-seltzer. It's the prologue to my end zone dance where I sing plop plop fizz fizz oh with a bump and a wetback I pizz.

The Yankees have won so many games in there existence they could lose 234 games and commit 56 errors per game and still require 18 blow jobs per second.

Barry Bonds is now in talks for an autobiographical movie starring a cactus that shoots up peyote into its brain. He stars in one scene where God throws him into a no-parking sign.

If the world was round I'd like to know if I was playing marbles correctly.

It was once green now its blue but it took a couple then it waited for a second now its yellowish orange.

The Browns.

Terrel Owens owes my five bucks. He took it from my Grandma so he could take a bus to get to a commercial shooting. When he got there he didn't pay the bus driver took the five bucks baught a 40 got drunk with David Hasselhoff went to Bombay became an engineer and now answers phone calls for tech support instead of going to the Cowboys training camp.

Everytime I look at porn I don't cry. I don't laugh. I don't even get a hard on. I asked a vetrenarian if this was rabbit food. He told me there was a problem in the limbic system of my brain. The function can be corrected if I throw a brick into the air and if it doesn't fall back to the earth I will be able to fuck anything I want.

I fucked anything I wanted.

Please do not commit supper damage.

Tolstoy rearranged Limp Bizkits and flushed the toilet in bold italic and underlined.

Two things you should know.

A shoe lace is a crimson moon on the tide of american lore. Shakazulu. Dooling. Porf.

Jolly Green Giant reads brail fluently.

TEXAN OF THE YEAR

today in gink news. 2inthegink received the coveted texan of the year®(i registered that drini, dont be stealin my trademarks!®) big ups to me, and shit.

Better than Ginseng

Red carpet woman has tat of D.Trump on stomach

TIME

The Myspace Slut

I like this picture. I like the words. I like the "pics", "videos," "Expensive But Worth it." I'm sure it's worth it. Just look at all the eyeshadow it has to be worth it. That fucked up tan marked 5-head with that shitty wierd samurai haircut. Hair bleached so much that eventually she will look like Hulk Hogan all said and done. But she is worth it. I like what MTV has done to our children. Breeding them to have this egocentric aura to make them invincible/invisible to the real pleasures of life. Those pleasures you ask? Well for starters mortgage on your house, telling your daughter for the first time that the blood coming out of her body is natural, beating your kid when he rips out all the tape from your old cassette collection, paying doctor bills because you got the herp from some black dude at a party who turned out to be a white guy in disguise because he can't get any chicks and he likes to tell women he is Roy Jones Jr. This Myspace is killer to ain't it. I'm an addict for about five minutes a day. It's like a good hit of mind coke.



I'm sure she is worth it. She looks like the kind of girl that would take a bullet for your love. Listen to your acoustic cover songs. Hold your head up when you vomit. Smell your nasty shit after you get out of the bathroom and she has to get ready for school in the morning. But it will cost you. Why does it have to cost you to get these privledges? Smelling my shit shouldn't cost a girl like this anything she should want to because I walk on water. The second guy to do such a thing next to Che himself. Get a job bitch, one where it doesn't require any hard work. By a nice car so you can drive it into houses. I ain't lying I would do the same thing if I looked like this
<--------Getting hit in the back by a doof with a lot of money. Mark Cuban? Prob. Am I m.a.d.d. sad glad? I just wish I could meet her and tell her that it should cost money for you to want to smell my shit. No one should be expensive but worth it. That means I have to buy you a fat rock and propose a first date at some trashy UK football gathering. No ones worth that.

Injury report

Last night around 7:00 pm my tai I realized I had to do something. Be an idiot and want to put some pants on. So what does one do in this pre-dick-a-mint? One decides to put some pants on.

Behold a sharp stinging pain in the bottom of your left foot!

I had stepped on a bar sculpture(neon bar straws quizzically put together by tooth picks into what looks like a weather vane). 25%-45% of a toothpick slithering up my foot. Of course my karma has me belittled in its grasp, there is not a piece of the fucking thing sticking out of my foot. So what do I do? I sterilze some needles and go digging. Then I become a pussy and ask my self what the fuck would John J-mutherfuckin Rambo do! He'd tell Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer to pull the fucker out. So I calls up the girlfriend, the one I fap to. Go to the doc so the doc can lodge tweezers up an orifice in my foot. This is what I get for telling Ginkhole all those times growing up that I was going to cut a hole in his foot and fuck it. Oh well...I did get some pictures of me in the doctors room, but I couldn't get the images of the doc when he was working on me. I guess he was in an intense moment digging around in my foot because I asked him how long the numbing liquids last and he wouldn't answer. I proceeded to tell him after he told me that he failed and couldn't get it out that the little shard was going to morph my foot into a peg leg. He didn't laugh. I wanted to ask him what he went to medical school for if he tells people that he failed. He's like," Excuse me mam but your pregnancy would have been a total success it's just that I failed." That could mean a plethora of things like when he was pulling that sleek milky slimey down syndrome baby out of that moist stretched vagina he popped the head off or ripped a couple arms out. What a dudiqua. Well..just thought I'd let you know. Pics coming soon of the adventure.

We fuckin did it man, inward posting!

what a long strange trip its been. Ginkfist has been up for a little over 4 months. and its kicking ass. for the last month we've averaged 4 posts a day. theres been blasphemy, inbreeding, porn, old ladies naked, racism, plagarism, making fun of those with less than us, making fun of those with more than us (haha fat people) and there is still no signs of us slowing down. We just hit our 100th post of this month. it took us longer than that to hit our first hundred duckets.so in typical ginkfist fashion i googled 100 in images to steal someone elses cool as image as opposed to staying up another 50 hours and making my own, and i found this one from Nathan in google, i found it through the one of a dos screenshot with a no smoking symbol put over it. then i was interested in what he had to say so i clicked around and came across that image in a blurb where he was talking about the speed at which modern humans are living their lives, and how that people may be right that its faster than ever and we need to "stop to smell the roses once in a while" but that living at this speed can be just as beautiful. i hope thats what at least one person gets outta ginkfist. not relating to burning crosses and babies in blenders. but slowing down their fast ass lives for a second and finding something beautiful here (did you see those tits in april?) and getting a chuckle out of it, then zipping off to the next gink in the road. well that was enough estrogen and emotion for one post. thanks for bearing with me, heres some titties:

not so ~VIVA LA TILDE!~

well, thanks a lot again wikipedia. it turns out the Tilde

(~)

is pretty f-ing horrible, so f-ing horrible i won't even use the word fuck to describe it, it is too fucked, or f-ed whatever. according to Tilde Tim's guide to timeless Tildes the tilde is what inspired hitler to launch WWII. it turns out he wanted to conquer the whole world just to put the tilde everywhere. he thought they would make good watch hands which they did, until after he invaded czechoslovakia and showed up drunk at 12:15am, thinking it was 3pm. that was the downfall of hitler. not betraying his allies. it was that in all his brilliancy, he forgot to lengthen one arm of the Tilde-clock to denote hours from minutes, and got wasted and spaced that whole am-pm thing. so the next time you think about using your tilde, just remember who died for it, and what it stands for: children and drunk nazi's.

Viva la revoluciõñ! Viva la Tilde

The picture to my right (and your left)is of one hispandex: Ernesto Guevara de la Serna or as we at ginkfist like to refer to him as: El Che. we invented the monicker El Che, and are currently suing Wikipedia for copyright® infringment® (Enjoy Coke®-a-caine classic)either way, El Che ( or El Ginko®) is an important piece of ginkfist history, because ginkfist was born of revolution. when we we're just little ginkfetuses and ginkzygotes, there were horrible acts of normalacy running rampant on the internet. sites such as pink is the new blog and cnn.com would write about things that they believed people liked freaking out over. They were wrong. so we here at ginkfist started smoking insane amounts of pcp, and began posting what the voices in the microwave told us to, the rest is history. (for more normalacy on El Che click HERE FOR PORNO

who i wouldve voted for if the south won.

General redbone smokey one eyed no teef hootin hollerin banjo playin soul sellin to the devil gink

ill do more posts in the mornin after my quesdilla's are done.

im diggin deep on this one.

nice coat beaner

We three Ginks.

Gink: the final frontier. fuck space. fuck alaska. next stop: world domination.

Celeb News of the Gink

In recent news today Axl Rose was seen smoking to what appears to the naked eye a cigarette. Yet informants of the Taliban have told me that it's actually an atomic pressured geological diamond. You can smoke the diamond apparently to preserve your life strain. The more odd thing is that every puff you take a sweet child of mine clone manifests itself in some sort of hallucinogenic quantum vision. You can as Al-Tariq Swaheed Diam Moedeek says use the vision as a receptacle for eternal preservation of donkey pubes! Can you believe that fucking shit? I was baffled when I heard it. But I also realized that a theoretical article had been published in Revolver magazine just 67 years before I found out the Talibanic infomatigrams. We had Ginkhole pose as a cop to see if the shit was a truism and sure enough it was. He was then pulverized by Joe C's ghost and taken to a secret facility where Harry Potter fans proceeded to rape him of all his dignity and take the ashes from the cig to formulate a Dumbledore hybrid Axl donkey quasar pube. This quasar pube as he told Al-Tariq Swaheed Diam Moedeek lets you inhabit the minds of 12 year old boys and girls and tell them to start acting in Greek Oedipus plays and reinact them in your household. Crazy crazy day.

Ginkoff Week 2.1