all good things must come...on a plate served with beans and rice.

We (by we i mean me) are currently working on a new template for the site. Just trying to beef it up and give it roid rage. Hopefully you haven't thought that we have been sitting in a loft somewhere smoking out of a hooka with some Moonbeams contemplating the astral and ethereal. That was so last year. Every day I try and use hyperbola and balls in the same sentence. I'm smart good looking and highly talented at everything I do. That's why I spend most of my time masturbating. No one can love me like I do.

Trent Reznor rap album

I couldn't pass this one up

brady quinn= homo quaterback for the browns.

You aren't going to find any of that here

While some people are curled up into the fetus position listening to Against Me! and the new Smashing Pumpkins album wallowing in a pile of there own feces and peanut shells I took the time to do a little bit of a sociological study on humanity. And no this study didn't involve my hand an empty janitors closet and an industrial sized tub of Vaseline. It was a look into the world of brainwashing or coercive persuasion. Personally I feel that some of the biggest forms of brainwashing are Republican radio, N.P.R., save Darfur bumper stickers and or graffiti, the words fundamentalism and conservative as well as Indie music, man makeup, Dr. Phil, MTV and die hard Tool fans. The Bible is cool and so is LSD so get over it people. The world wants to unite but not together. They want to unite in little barbaric circles to take back what is rightfully theirs that Rome took away from them in the first place. I hate to use the word oppression but I have to say that the oppressive superimposed values and media that set people off into their tangent is what brainwashes weak minded peoples. Yes the words weak minded, individualism, oppressive, and idealistic are so cliche for this type of conversation that it makes me want to star in a John Cusak movie that Michael Moore faps to on his rascal that he uses for a walking mechanism because he's too fat of an asshole and isn't mobile enough to get his cheese whizz coated Pringles from the fridge. Actually it is hurting me right now to talk about this because there really isn't much to talk about. I smoked a Duracell 9 volt battery in the name of the lord.
I know I don't make a good argument but if I could only roll in deep on some fanatical prayer with my sawed off shotgun and blast every motherfucking Lego made nativity I would. But I can't do that because that would make me a bad man. Though I do confess the urge to do so. I don't want to kill anyone.

THIS IS THE FACE OF A BRAINWASH THIS IS A VIDEO OF THE BRAINWASHED

I don't want you to worry but she is human and the C.I.A didn't do that to her. I'm pretty sure British immigration to Missouri or Kansas or some other Red State fucked that nice little brain of hers real hard with a jack hammer a nice night of daddy drinking whiskey and an old tape of her running around naked in the lawn when she was 18 right after prom and she met the football team.

She's going to grow up to be a strapping young bomb on her chest. Sorry Israel you're probably going to have to deal with that one come puberty. Or she could win a wet burka contest and star in Muslim Maxim showing some sweet ankle and wrist and become internationally famous and she wont have to do any of that self sacrificing stuff. But we know all that wont happen. Jihad weekly comes out more than monthly Maxims.

I'm voting for Limbaugh as Prez and Imus for Vice

The horror

He wasn't in my fantasy football

entertainment that shaped my childhood

Bolo Yeung changed my perspective in what it was to know what a villainous Chinese madman should be and look like. I also thought he was a Filipino because I grew up around a lot of Filipinos and I liked to see a Filipino that was beating the shit out of other Asians because it looked like his god given right to murder. It was in the Bloodsport that I first laid my little blood hungry eyes on Bolo Yeung and after that it was Enter the Dragon. I personally think he would've killed Bruce Lee by just giving him this face. As a matter of fact I think that is what it says on the autopsy report.


It's muhfuckin' Virtual Boy. This beacon of technological hope enhanced every aspect of my view on heroic companies that churn out nothing but nuggets of greatness. It ultimately taught me the most important lesson in life. To not believe in your heroic companies because they can and will churn out nothing but shit nuggets. A quarter of a half of the time it's great and the other fraction is a fraction of small percentiles that actually buy into the grand scheme of next generation technology that is going to be the forefront of the ongoing neo-evolution in humanity. Sad thing is I never owned one. I just played the demo version that gave me lice in a local grocery store.


Army Men are the perfect toys for the imagination. Unlike G.I. Joe's they don't include moving parts instead they are small victorious plastic molds that scream out,"Charlie in the trees!" or "Die Nazi fuckbag!" Of course these words would be uttered out of the side of your mouth all the while between spewing out little particles of spit making machine gun noises. The practical use of Army Men I found were perfect booby traps for your parents. If you had green shag carpet you could hide them in camouflage so they could step on them barefooted. I always gave props to the flame thrower guy.



TBS was the bona fide shithole station...aside from WGN. Why the fuck would there be a Chicago station in Alaska? It doesn't matter. TBS on the other hand aside from WGN had more shithole shows than one could conjure up with a shithole spell. Shows that spoke true to me like WCW, Captain Planet and Who's the Boss? If any of those shows weren't on I was probably trying to find boobies on HBO's Dream On or praying that some other channel was playing Terminator.


The Big Wheel. While dreaming that someday I would fulfill the prophetic roots of my ancestry by becoming a Hell's Angel I would plop my sweet ass on a big wheel and kick dirt and rocks into the 3 year old's faces. I know I was a late bloomer for training wheels. My first word was asshole and my first sweet ass ride was this beauty. I might of had a generic version that was all black with yellow handles. No sweet decals but a rugged machine that got me from my mailbox to the next ditch at my best friends house. If only it had a gas tank I could hide my drug money inside a tube like Easy Rider but it didn't so I had to hide it in my Velcro Captain Power wallet. The good ol' days reminisced nowadays with a can of Hamm's and a cheap stripper named Charisma.

Welcome to the View Whoopi G.

J.J. Abrams casted her in the next Star Trek as the "Black Smoke Monster".
(did you get the vague Next Generation reference?)

Chocolate Rain

Adding more A-holes to my list

I don't really know what the problem is but I have this feeling when I look at Mr. Quinn that tells me he is one of those guys who secretly hurls unopened Coors light cans at old ladies and then out of the shadows goes and helps them from cardiac arrest and everyone thinks he's a hero for doing it. I'm on to you Brady Bunch. This guy is a poster child for drunken frat boys everywhere. I've seen like twenty clones of this guy standing in the bar talking about god knows what. Usually those types talk about something some other guy said or did and how they could be better at it especially if they had 12 Coors Lights. My ultimate nightmare is seeing this guy in a 69 with Pete Wentz and Mother Teresa in a gimp suit forcing me to watch it. All the while playing Guitar Hero's last level which consists of Nickelback's cover of Freebird backwards. I'm glad this schmuck is on the Cleveland Browns. He's a shit stain on a shit stain team and he's going to throw shit stained footballs.

Colon

Naturally I would let an apple takes its course but today I decided to throw it in the air and see if it would ever come down. Newton was only right because he was born on Christmas not because he was a genius.