1/30/2008

Funkmaster fist

And now for your wigga moment of Zen:

I find this image to be the cruel representation of a race that has succeeded in slaying four white chicks on a nice car holding a bottle of alcohol in plastic container. Don't believe me?

There is proof in the pudding and also chunks of corn that I didn't realize I ate the night before. There is also something that I've noticed in this picture. I haven't seen that many nice legs since that octopus I bled ink out of to sign my statements at the bank. You realize that it's because they are young fertile females right? A couple of more years and that liquor is going to turn into Coors light, the keg cup is going to be red, and it's all going to give them cottage cheese thighs. Also the trill of their voices when they scream,"Who wants to party!"(by party I mean railing coke of an antique mirror at daddies beach house) will make their thighs ripple causing a bounce back effect making them bulbous and unattractive. But thanks to wiggers we have an answer as to who these kind of girls go home with. They love bad boys who say bro constantly and it makes their camel toe thirsty for roofies. They all have 4.0 grade averages too. If you forgot about the O.W.(original wigger) here is a picture of him. Name: Torbin Wigger.


try, just try not to find a little nut popping out of those Bill Walton shorts.



i just found that and thought it was creepy. Does he say to Elder H.? I didn't know he was a Mormon as well. And why does he do the military gesture? I'm freaking out and the demons are knocking on my door. my back door.I would rather have sexual relations with goat than have to man up and say I penetrated this tranny. I would not venture into that ruby star fruit for all the clams in bedrock.

I don't forget P. Wentz. You're still gay. More gay than Italian club monkeys, Zac Efron, Clay Aiken 69ing Lance Bass, and Dane Cook all rolled up into a nice little spring roll.







1/27/2008

Nuff' said


In the previous post I thought that the playboy actually looked like it wasn't photoshopped.
Oh yeah I forgot there is an Uncle up there that does your taxes.

It's one of those had to do it when you saw it kind of things


Sorry El' Ginko I had to do it.

Getting Uncled

If we haven't explained this before, getting "Uncled" is a phrase that pertains to sexual abuse or more likely molestation. For instance you can say, "I was Uncled at an early age." and everyone will know what you are talking about. A source of mine to be unnamed stumbled upon an article in The Stranger a Seattle based magazine entitled, "Touched by an Uncle." Now if you know the phrase this article is definitely funnier than Dane Cook. In fact if you stand in one spot in front of a crowd of a million for 93 minutes and at the 94 minute someone drops an anvil onto your head obliterating your existence you'll have a better joke to tell St. Peter than Dane Cook would. Little known fact for pea brains out there Dane Cook is the Pete Wentz of comedy and Pete Wentz is the Pete Wentz of Antichrists.



I'M GOING OLD SCHOOL FOR THIS ONE:

Are there end credits when you die?

Sometimes I'd like to be an extra in a movie. An extra with a mustache and a goon-like demeanor. The whole purpose of that is the fact that I'd really like to get shot on camera. Y'know do the whole body twitch "O" face seizure when you get sprayed with an AK-47 thing. It's a vanity dream but it would make a lot of things in my life seem more meaningful. Instead of watching a movie that gives you false hope that some Philadelphia burnout has a shot at winning the world heavy weight championship in subsequent sequels that gross less money each box office endeavour. I'm not a hater of Rocky though, it always makes me want to fight my old neighbors across the street and shoot bottle rockets at cat butts. I just watched the horrible comedy Accepted. The whole time I was thinking about the love interest and what it meant for her to become an actress and star in that kind of movie. Because if I'm anything like the Mac guy I should be slaying potential down to earth heart breakers every second of every waking moment. Low and behold I have a PC and constantly struggle to get my limp dick into the hard drive to illegally download music software to make shitty music. I think that goes full circle into the vanity thing again. I guess once you figure out you can masturbate the only thing you'll strive to do in in life is please yourself in anyway possible because 98% of the time you are hard at work trying to please others. I could just say fuck them I'm going to do what I want but where does that get you? It gets you a 5th of whiskey and a constant hard on for goals and accomplishments that are so far fetched the dreams in your head have to take Cialis because they don't even know when they can pop up at the right time. I guess what I'm saying is that Kurt Cobain had it right from the get go. Buy yourself a bullet, load it into a gun because either you are going to end up shooting your crack hoe wife one of these days or you are going to turn it around on yourself when you get what you really want out of life. In no way do I condone a course of action that leads to suicide. So put the sling shot down.

This is almost too much of an inside joke. But hey if you know what the stuff originally is you'll have a laugh.

I think these people are having a laugh. It's an eco-friendly dating site. Now if they could come up with a dating site that catered to delusional cynic hypocrite republican player hater geniuses, I'd be the moderator and only let Jennifer Connelly join. At least all those lonely Alaskan Males have a somewhat of a chance. Greenpeace of dhat a$$.

If you don't know what a Tundra Wookie is. It's what some people might explain an Alaskan woman is. I for one have seen many fine Alaskan women. Some reason they can make wearing extratuffs attractive. I've managed to find out that Rosie O'Donnell is the first Tundra Wookie to become famous. I think she spawned the idea for Teen Wolf I'm not sure.






1/25/2008

My name is Lopez e Lopez L


The south may rise again someday but I think dhem knockers wont. General Lee would be proud.

Ourspace Whooker of the day.
I thought Baltimore was thuggin for it's murder rates not for it's plagiarism.
Synthetic Genome created. Skynet calls in late for work.
30,000 people have repeatedly beat their wife and read ginkfist.
Frontman Syndrome
Frontman Syndrome 2.0
I'd count sand on a beach to have 15 seconds of undulating bliss for this
Lyrics to the greatest song. EVER.



Is it even physically possible to take a picture of these two? Doesn't this negate some sort of space-time continuum? I bet it's Gay Gay Abrams who thought of unleashing this Cloverfieldian monstrosity. I'm sure Yao just ate some panda express and them BOOM Will Dung appeared. He's still our 1st ever Ginkoff champion and we are still proud of him but goddamn can my mind be more blown than it is right now?

Speaking of Ginkoffs coming soon probably within the next days I'll actually have one ready and I'll finish it this time. Best one yet. I make more promises than Hollywood execs. I'd be sure to keep these promises if I'd get fellated to keep them. Hint hint.

Are you ready steroid beefcake bootleg c dogs blitzing muttafuquas?

I just watched a metal documentary and shredded my axe until W.A.S.P retired.


This picture cannot be explained with mere human words but a representation of the Japanese Hello Kitty air guitarist I like to call Mushi "Sushi" Mushi or Samurai Sake.

And in the likeness of butt rock metal slashing pentatonic scales out of existence I bring you the hottest new double bass pedal dictators of rock:

I haven't photoshopped in a while so please bear with me here.
I'm working on an amalgamation of Katherine McPhee's lovely fun bags and a large hadron collision thingy. It should be fun considering the fact I'm not choosing to blow my money on copious amounts of alcohol and failed attempts to pick up some drunk hippie in which I have no intention of talking to her about soy products and blue whales.

I'm not a racist...but like I said I hate Kanye and white people.


this is Jiggachu. He's a Negromon. I'm sorry I had to do it. It was either that or a Heath Ledger photoshop and i didn't want to do that because the native fellow in Dances with Wolves says not to speak of the dead because it's disrespectful. My Greek name is Hypocrates so I guess that makes me a hypocrite. But definitely not a racists. I am a sexist and I believe that if women's rights didn't exist the word rape would have never been conceived. Ok I think the hole is about six feet deep and I'm just going to lie there. Kick dirt in my face........it gives me a hard on.

1/24/2008

I've been redirected here because of the Cosmos and the infinite struggle with making a template.

I don't know how to make a template but I know how to use Photoshop. Every time I try to attempt to make a template I figure out that I don't know shit about shit. Actually I know what shit is and fecal matter can sometimes in certain instances become sexy. I have no idea why. It just is.

I guess since our leave of absence a lot of things have been happening around the world that we haven't been able to inform you. Fuck if anyone is even reading this I feel sorry for them because I know in fact their herpes and or hemoriods haven't cleared. Let's see here...of course you know Heath Ledger died and American Gladiators is back on the tube. Photogs have become photog subjects. Ain't that some bullshit. I'm out here taking pictures of celebrity snatch and boom I become celebrity snatch over night because some crazy celebrity snatch is snatching me and I don't mind being snatched because rich snatch is most definitely better than poor ass trying to make my way through college eating top ramen and boozing it with the brewers at Coor's Light snatch. I'm going to ginkfist Enya and try to get this shit back to its usual state.

P.S.
Coachella's lineup this year makes me fist baby snatch every moment I think of it. And Adam Sessler's gay magic is a lot stronger and willing than Zach Efrons.