The affinity for Will Farrell will never cease to amaze me. The guy is a hack and hasn't made anything decent. I think he'd be better off doing cameo rolls like he used to. Rob Schneider, now that is a guy with talent. He'll make your gut bust faster than your nut from a lap dance handed down to you by Olivia Munn. I've been in a constant struggle lately on which piece of work made by the hands of god I would want to stalk more. Olivia Munn or Avril Lavigne. I know what you're thinking Avril? For some reason I have a major crush on that raccoon looking bitch and it gives me a halfy every time I think about it. It's not the kind of halfy you get when you think about elderly women flapping their bingo wings on treadmills. Or the halfy you get watching their cankles buckle under the weight of child bearing thighs but more like the halfy you get when you see fresh bacon and French toast smothered in that right amount of syrup.
Now that that spy satellite is dead and the mission was successful I'll tell you the real reason they shot it down. It was because the images they sent back to earth were in HD DVD format. Now the Pentagon has to switch everything to Blu-Ray. But that isn't the secret they are keeping because little do you know they still film smoke signals on beta and send those snail mail with an Indian riding an ostrich. Yes that is also what the Internet is. A bunch of subterranean roads with bird riding redskins clogging up the information highway. Anyways...here are some links.
Avril Fakies(NSFW)
Atomic Bomb of the Middle Ages
Racist Filipino Jokes
Let's rip off the game store!
Kentucky Waterfalls
Fuck the what?
Highlander Episode 1
Political Smurf
What's in John McCain's cheeks?
White Wiki
What an asshole really looks like(SFW)
Stop Snitchin' ya lil' bitch!
Ottowa Jail Report
Britnese
2/25/2008
Liberal Northwest America.
This is a picture I took a couple of days ago on my way down to Seattle. It made me think of what if Lance Armstrong was in Terminator 2.
2/24/2008
Call me!!!!!!
We've added a call me! button at the bottom of the page that sends your voice mail to a number we registered to grandcentral.com a site that allows you to do this. Send us a voice mail and we'll post it. I'm excited to see how this will work. All you need is your phone number and it connects directly to the number we've provided. I'll be looking forward to hearing what you demons have to say.
2/21/2008
2/17/2008
i'll blow a faux into the white candy snow
This is the faux hawk edition of Gay or European. You decide. Plus I think faux hawks are the source of all satanic sacrifice and school shootings. Quote me on that when I run for office. Y'know like the one with Michael and Jim and then I start to flirt with Pam and everyone gets jealous office.
2/16/2008
Crystal Balls, Lowdown Girls, and Truck Stops...actually it's the Feb. Ginkoffs!!!
Please vote for the winners!!! Leave a comment or email me at dahghda@gmail.com. an orgy isn't an orgy if it's just me masturbating in the corner...it's about group activity.
2/13/2008
Fuckin honkys.
is it honkie, or honky? honky seems like it. Life sucks. not in the back alley blowjob variety either. i feel like sally struthers was a fat white women saving starving black children in africa. that fat cunt had the audacity to get on my television and ask for over a dollar a day. fuckin fat hoe dont realize that i have $1.42 to my name and dont get paid for a few days. how bout someone sends some women my way to save my fuckin life. I could use a bottle of alcohol that doesnt have the word "malt" on it, and maybe even a blow job. Fuck it, VD's coming up on thursday. I havent spent a single dollar on myself in three weeks. that sucks. i dont count the two 40oz's i bought on monday. I doubt the 6.14 i spent there really would qualify as anything.
I got in a fight last week, or rather i got beat up by a drunken stranger at a wine n cheese party. i messed up my lower back and neck, or rather someone did it for me. I had to go to the hospital because i was feeling worse rather than better. now im feeling better, except i feel worse cause i know this is prolly going to cost at least 200 dollars. and because i dont have jesus as a savior or the word republican on my voting card, im fucked.
I was thinking about becoming a born again christian with a middle american upbringing.
they seem to have money. but im an agnostic military brat from the east coast residing in alaska. its shitty up here right now. the sun doesn't rise until after 7am, and is gone before 5pm. i generally work from 5ish-1ish. that means i only get a chance to see the sun on thursdays and fridays when there is no work to be had. and if del sol does come out, its only to show you that the landlocked town you reside in, now resides under 5 inches of rain water, which is conviently taller than your old converses.
but it could be worse. you could live in darfur, or washington dc. you could be the most powerful man in the world, and still wake up to the fear that the pile of rotting flesh next to you is laura bush. no, not the twilf. the old saggy bags.
I got in a fight last week, or rather i got beat up by a drunken stranger at a wine n cheese party. i messed up my lower back and neck, or rather someone did it for me. I had to go to the hospital because i was feeling worse rather than better. now im feeling better, except i feel worse cause i know this is prolly going to cost at least 200 dollars. and because i dont have jesus as a savior or the word republican on my voting card, im fucked.
I was thinking about becoming a born again christian with a middle american upbringing.
they seem to have money. but im an agnostic military brat from the east coast residing in alaska. its shitty up here right now. the sun doesn't rise until after 7am, and is gone before 5pm. i generally work from 5ish-1ish. that means i only get a chance to see the sun on thursdays and fridays when there is no work to be had. and if del sol does come out, its only to show you that the landlocked town you reside in, now resides under 5 inches of rain water, which is conviently taller than your old converses.
but it could be worse. you could live in darfur, or washington dc. you could be the most powerful man in the world, and still wake up to the fear that the pile of rotting flesh next to you is laura bush. no, not the twilf. the old saggy bags.
2/11/2008
I did indeed have sexual relations.
with ginkfist. Sometimes i forget people read this shit.thats when i rant about deceased foreign nationals. The difference between us and Mitt Romney: we give you every reason to hate us. I wish i got hate mail. I wish i swam tidal waves. I wish HST was alive, and that heath ledger wasn't a cliche. I'd rather make a condi rice joke, than a heath joke. America is trying a soldier for murder in iraq. Thank god. lets blame the executioner and fap to britney.
umm. 666?
2/01/2008
is it too early?
to make fun of heath ledger? its happy hour somewhere...
happy new years? yea, i know its been a minute. i was off shitting the bed and banging the horse, and if it wasnt for the excess of nicotine at the homebase and lack of funds on the home front i'd be still out there. kinda pisses me off how usa has money for its wars, and i dont have any for mine. i think that makes me pro insurgency. it takes creativity to fight when poor. it takes heart and balls just to wake up after a rough night. ask heath. i didnt see him coming. or going?
either way, he seem like a same sex oriented actor and a family oriented guy. now hes just oriented belly up six under, or ash mashed potatoes in someones mantle piece. boring. or serene. either way, tits. if i had i kissed a man in a movie that wasnt porn money. when i go, which i would after making a knights tale; i would have my skull bronzed and affixed to the top of a staff, or is it stave? tenses make me tense. ill go with walking stick. i would have my chrome dome, on the top of some gandalf shit, and my pygmy progeny would revere me with sugar crystal frailty and crystal meth ferver. holy hillbilly heroin. lets see what the ole photoshop mill is brewin for me today:
happy new years? yea, i know its been a minute. i was off shitting the bed and banging the horse, and if it wasnt for the excess of nicotine at the homebase and lack of funds on the home front i'd be still out there. kinda pisses me off how usa has money for its wars, and i dont have any for mine. i think that makes me pro insurgency. it takes creativity to fight when poor. it takes heart and balls just to wake up after a rough night. ask heath. i didnt see him coming. or going?
either way, he seem like a same sex oriented actor and a family oriented guy. now hes just oriented belly up six under, or ash mashed potatoes in someones mantle piece. boring. or serene. either way, tits. if i had i kissed a man in a movie that wasnt porn money. when i go, which i would after making a knights tale; i would have my skull bronzed and affixed to the top of a staff, or is it stave? tenses make me tense. ill go with walking stick. i would have my chrome dome, on the top of some gandalf shit, and my pygmy progeny would revere me with sugar crystal frailty and crystal meth ferver. holy hillbilly heroin. lets see what the ole photoshop mill is brewin for me today:
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