1/04/2010
12/30/2009
Twiggies
OBESITY STATISTICS:
- 3 million people in America are obese
- Of those 3 million I for one brush my teeth with bacon grease.
- The United States has approx 12,500 McDonald's Restaurants.
- I have eaten over 12,500 Chicken McNuggets.
- Mississippi is considered the fattest American state.
- I piss high fructose corn syrup into Mississippi River.
- Fat people are harder to kidnap
- I get harder from fat people.
- 34% of Americans agree "that big is beautiful"
- I agree. And so does the 900 Club.
Animal Collective Sucks. you too pabsts...
Total hipster domination. I can't believe you listen to this shit you damned hipsters. I can't believe that you believe I should be listening to this. This is the only collective you should be listening to. I saw these fags at the Sasquatch music festival and let me tell you I haven't seen so many hipster hard-ons since I went to that American Apparel donkey show. Honestly I don't know how many times I've talked to someone about them and they try and justify their greatness by saying their earlier albums are the ones to listen to. Really? That's your best argument? Listening to this shit is like that time I heard your uncle color commentate beastiality tapes like Bill Walton. Wait a second...that could probably win a Grammy. Listening to this shit is like that time I heard those bootleg Leo Sayer acoustic casino performances on repeat remixed to the bpm of a sumo wrestler that has sleep apnea. Wait a second...that could also win a Grammy. I'm at a loss for words. I feel like a hate crime has been committed against me when I think about this whole Animal Collective situation. This hipster shit better end quick like hammer pants. Aaaaand please don't let me get started on you dub-steppers. I can at least tolerate it but you'll soon be on my Hyphy list.
12/29/2009
Citizen Kanye
"Yo Cameron, I'm really happy for you.
I'm gonna let you finish, but Welles had
one of the best movies of all time!"
Latest Heat.
Been listenin' the human league and found out it wasn't 1981 anymore. I think that i'm back do you? I know I keep saying that but...will a bootleg bring it all back?
3/05/2009
If your standing on your head
and reading this god damned abomination upsides down... up next are some photos of current events i've missed in the last 52wks.
sanatorium
Im back?... i don't think this is something you go back too...relapse?
and i loathe life. its taken some time, but its winter, and i hate most of you... all of you, i've broken it down as such:
76.2% of women over the age of 58 need to wear bowling shoes during a marathon on an ice rink. only the top 3 live.
64.5% are prolly a waste of energy....do us all a favor and contribute to the next big bang...early, with a lil bang?!?
666% of people dont drink....well fuck them. satanic fucks.
100% of hangovers are pure bullshit, but they weed out the weak, think about during the coffee cigarette shit ritual every monday.
110% is how much people give, when they take from someone else.
%d is a variable i use a lot to make my life easier...can't help it, im a fuckin nerd, i also dig 8 bit music and graphics, neil young, drinkin beer while talking about unix.
I really do think people should all switch to slax4. we'd have that shit down concrete... i first hit it over a decade ago, and im hooked...fuck compositing.
I've relapsed!
and i loathe life. its taken some time, but its winter, and i hate most of you... all of you, i've broken it down as such:
76.2% of women over the age of 58 need to wear bowling shoes during a marathon on an ice rink. only the top 3 live.
64.5% are prolly a waste of energy....do us all a favor and contribute to the next big bang...early, with a lil bang?!?
666% of people dont drink....well fuck them. satanic fucks.
100% of hangovers are pure bullshit, but they weed out the weak, think about during the coffee cigarette shit ritual every monday.
110% is how much people give, when they take from someone else.
%d is a variable i use a lot to make my life easier...can't help it, im a fuckin nerd, i also dig 8 bit music and graphics, neil young, drinkin beer while talking about unix.
I really do think people should all switch to slax4. we'd have that shit down concrete... i first hit it over a decade ago, and im hooked...fuck compositing.
1/03/2009
12/23/2008
Falling Apart You Are World
Time quotes this new book, "How to Talk to Girls" by saying this:
On relationships: "Sometimes, you get a girl to like you, then she ditches you. Life is hard, move on! Or sometimes it just doesn't work out. I had a crush on a girl in preschool. Then my family had to move, so I had to let her wash out of my mind."
The Author's name is Alec Greven. This dude is 9 years old. Someday like all children he will blossom into a young man and receive many gifts from puberty. He is likely to get an onslaught of acne, height disadvantages, and most of all frequent uncontrollable boners. After this stage of development he's most likely to experiment with drugs. Considering he's probably the most popular guy in school now he's going to get laid if he hasn't already. And if he hasn't? He's going to have to get women the old fashion way and not take the advice of his book and use alcohol and drugs. Alec is inevitably going to become a user. And users don't succeed because users' daddies have taken all the money and spent it on daddies new girlfriend that Lil' Mr. Greven has managed to help him get.
For the times now I would say VH1 should pick up this dude for a new reality show. VH1 has more freaks than Fox. Fox has the greatest news station assembled by man and never falsifies it's news and has comprable sources and could never handle the monstrosity that is Alec Greven.
12/19/2008
Lost Children
Sometimes you have to put baby in a corner so baby can tell you all the glorious things the world has to offer. Don't worry baby I haven't forgotten your milk.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
