Joe Dumars fucked up comics from beyond the grave he isn't in yet but will be some day before coca cola sends me that package I won from a Holiday Inn

Sportin' speedos kiddos. I hate dharma. Blow me out of proportion and call me Oprah! I had a fun fun fun time last night. I didn't do shit! 4:00 in the morning sucked because I was woken up by my alchoholic roomate singing Van Morrison with some undisclosed girl in the backround. Then someone decided to power wash the streets for tourists. 4 in the morning goddamnit what did the world decide to go to sleep in the daytime? Mammals are getting more fucked up by the moment. That's why I have a cheese grader, butterscotch, a fifth of peppermint, a picture of Howard Taft and my dicks hanging out below my ankles. I'm going to lube my dick up with butterscotch cheese grade it then pour schnapps all over it and fuck a picture of Howard Taft while calling my friends girlfriend and telling her that she needs to bend over and take one for the vertically challenged. Eat my taint in a sundae I'm bottlerocket stew!