The wishing well is dry so I spit in it and out grew an Ivory Tower in my absence

At the moment I do not have the internet. I have been forced to Rambo my way into peoples houses to make sure that I can check up on Myspace and stalk my ex girlfriend. I drink a lot now and work too much and I jammed at a bar with some Moorish dude last night. Actually I think he was Amish. Besides that I have recommended many students to go into Harvard law because I get a percentage of their benefits and they give me free medical for this rad outbreak of herpagonasyphilaids. But not really. I miss Ginkfist. It's my baby. Y'know its been about a year now since we conceived this retarded FAS baby out of our cancerous womb and fed it amniotic fluids for 32 weeks and then let it swim in Mountain Dew regurgitation and duck feces? I know its grand like a mint left on your pillow after you had sex with the housekeeper. She likes to bend over and let me watch her snort coke of a popular mechanics magazine. It always makes me chuckle. Sometimes I can picture it as a Norman Rockwell painting. It's what has become of our classic Americana these days. That and playing spin the bottle with a nuclear hand grenade and who ever it lands on the person has to make out with the grenade pin in their mouth.

I can't leave you guys for a long time again without showing you a couple of shitheads I pulled from Google's ass.

Sadly I have to say that Vampire chicks always make we want to be a chick myself. Not a tranny but a woman. I know its sad to say but if I was a woman I could get more women. Now think about that? And I could run around in white pants when I have a period and we all know what kind of Jackson Pollock that would make. It would be an art nouveau movement that would lead to a highly fashionable statement. Then I could honestly say that I would come out with those mink fur condoms I've always wanted to market.