Frontman syndrome

Wouldn't you wanna fuck around with whiskey and hookers forever? Don't you just want to amass a play den of blow and debauchery for the remainder of your days? Then you must acquire something that all men of promiscuity and golden godlike greatness achieve. Mother fucking front man syndrome.! Not at all close to fragile x syndrome but something more with a supreme anointment factor. Usually...you end up being a fag and on the cover of Rolling Stone with guyliner and some smirk that just breathes homo erotica. The kind of look that whispers in your ear,"Don't you want to take my belt buckle off with your teeth?"

If you don't already you must grow long hair. That way chicks think you are have a female growing inside of you and it's always good to let them know you will have a heart. One that's big enough to love them for one night. Goatee is optional but the baby face and long hair is going to slay them on impact. Take Chad Kroeger for example he's my personal hero(gag me with a spoon and clean me with a wet nap).

Notice how he lets pubes grow on his chin. Just to let the ladies know he's of legal age. He's managed to wear enough makeup to look like Jesus. Case of Hamm's and a dead hooker says Stan Winston did prosthesis for little to no cash at all. I figure you can take several different routes with your appeal as a frontman. You can go classic rock like Robert Plant:
You can go Emo-Pop-Punk-Suckalicious like the Antichrist Pete Wentz:

If it's an absolute must you can take it to the Uncle status like Freddy Merc:


You really don't have to worry about lyrical content or the subject matter of your songs nowadays. You really don't even have to write real words. If you just talk about the club and how much you're empty and this and that hitting ninjas with a baseball bat your swimming in the poon my friend. If you want to get anything out of nothing you have to look and act like these guys. But if you want to fuck everything in all walks of life. From bicycles to laptops, men, women, goats or clouds want to get up on your junk you combine all of these men. You concoct the Frankenstein beast and become the starchild of all dimensions. You become this:

Super Scott Stapp!!!!!!

If you become super charger Scott Stapp saiyan christ lord cockmonger you will get credited for writing every song ever and nothing will stop at any cost to try and bang you out of every orifice. Swords will cut holes into your body where dead Roman souls will penetrate your living essence giving you Jupiter cells. You can explode into a Krakatoa supernova and spread your seed across the vast reaches of the outer ether and impregnate the cosmos with your speed of light tadpoles. Time will bow down before your vocal range and cower into a fetal state because you are a mountain of chaos and wonder. Everything will be you...the super charger Scott Stapp saiyan Christ lord cockmonger.