Bolo Yeung changed my perspective in what it was to know what a villainous Chinese madman should be and look like. I also thought he was a Filipino because I grew up around a lot of Filipinos and I liked to see a Filipino that was beating the shit out of other Asians because it looked like his god given right to murder. It was in the Bloodsport that I first laid my little blood hungry eyes on Bolo Yeung and after that it was Enter the Dragon. I personally think he would've killed Bruce Lee by just giving him this face. As a matter of fact I think that is what it says on the autopsy report.
It's muhfuckin' Virtual Boy. This beacon of technological hope enhanced every aspect of my view on heroic companies that churn out nothing but nuggets of greatness. It ultimately taught me the most important lesson in life. To not believe in your heroic companies because they can and will churn out nothing but shit nuggets. A quarter of a half of the time it's great and the other fraction is a fraction of small percentiles that actually buy into the grand scheme of next generation technology that is going to be the forefront of the ongoing neo-evolution in humanity. Sad thing is I never owned one. I just played the demo version that gave me lice in a local grocery store.
Army Men are the perfect toys for the imagination. Unlike G.I. Joe's they don't include moving parts instead they are small victorious plastic molds that scream out,"Charlie in the trees!" or "Die Nazi fuckbag!" Of course these words would be uttered out of the side of your mouth all the while between spewing out little particles of spit making machine gun noises. The practical use of Army Men I found were perfect booby traps for your parents. If you had green shag carpet you could hide them in camouflage so they could step on them barefooted. I always gave props to the flame thrower guy.
TBS was the bona fide shithole station...aside from WGN. Why the fuck would there be a Chicago station in Alaska? It doesn't matter. TBS on the other hand aside from WGN had more shithole shows than one could conjure up with a shithole spell. Shows that spoke true to me like WCW, Captain Planet and Who's the Boss? If any of those shows weren't on I was probably trying to find boobies on HBO's Dream On or praying that some other channel was playing Terminator.
The Big Wheel. While dreaming that someday I would fulfill the prophetic roots of my ancestry by becoming a Hell's Angel I would plop my sweet ass on a big wheel and kick dirt and rocks into the 3 year old's faces. I know I was a late bloomer for training wheels. My first word was asshole and my first sweet ass ride was this beauty. I might of had a generic version that was all black with yellow handles. No sweet decals but a rugged machine that got me from my mailbox to the next ditch at my best friends house. If only it had a gas tank I could hide my drug money inside a tube like Easy Rider but it didn't so I had to hide it in my Velcro Captain Power wallet. The good ol' days reminisced nowadays with a can of Hamm's and a cheap stripper named Charisma.
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