Celeb News of the Gink

Blanka was sited yesterday in Times Square fending for himself and the Prada he decided to buy while splurging his money away which he got from the last Street Fighter Tournament. When approached by a 16 year old Tony Vitale's Pizza Delivery boy he electrocuted his 4 pubes into a state of shock and ate the boy whole. He wasn't charged by the authorities on the grounds that Blanka doesn't know where he his and if he is going to be doing anything that he should keep spending his money on Paris Hiltion designer boots and bootleg Radiohead albums which have a street value of 0.13 cents. Blanka was also seen at a trendy nightclub, "Bowery Ballroom" in a trancedental state of ecstacy releasing an unyet classifed gaseous radiation from his earlobes. It proceeded to slaughter 73 electronic engeneers and 4 employees while the rest of the people got down on their knees and praised Allah because that is the new dance groove. Consequently from this electro-defiant bender the cash spending armada known as Blanka raised 34 chickens and took home 4 beautiful blonde women. And beauty by Blanka standard is clawmarks down the spinal columns and anal blowouts from here to the bridge over river Kwai. Blanka then retreated to a Trump hideout and played no limit holdem for 76 hours and passed out from regurgetated vomit left in his throat. He spilled 6 bottles of French Cognac and 2 ashtrays. The death toll of a Fallujah block party was accounted for in the process of his annebriated armeggedon.