6/22/2006

"Now what the fuck is this?!"

A question you might ask yourself. This is Roger. My very first goblin born. How did I do it? I ain't going to tell you. This is my weapon against Swedish rebels that have been fucking us up in Kansas. The only thing I will tell you is that I spawned him using ancient ritualistic magic, and seeds I found on ebay. The rest of the incantation research and caretaking is your responsibility if you want to pirate my idea. I'm going to train Roger in Brazilian Ju-Jitsu and Krav Maga. He will be a fighting machine. Bred on Megaman games and raw beef. He will throw spears as far as 50 elephants in a life and be able to take bites out of blue whales. His claws will rival Wolverines and make no mistake he will be president of Jet magazine. I have no intention on killing innocents but he will have every intention on killing innocents. I love Roger. If you happen to find out his wrinkley weakness I will send many a locusts to Puerto Rico where you like to vacation. I unleash Camel Toads on Egypt and build an obscure road in the SouthEast of Alaska. This is something you must not fuck with. Peace out I'm pending for a shit.

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