so i havent posted in a few, because i was busy, busy shooting live animals, eating dead ones, and drinking. then i started playing nintendo again to see if i could do those super mario tricks we posted about, i only did one, and it wasnt that cool. so heres a super cool trick for you guys to try out, takes about 5 minutes. and you might fap to it afterwards.
Step One: Purchase, or illegally download Maniac Mansion.(illegal-ness rocks.)
This game was made by Lucas arts, or lucasfilm games, or any combination of the words lucas arts films games etc. Basically George Lucas
funded some crazy ass 80's programmers to make this for old commodore apple ibms and whatnots. i dont know if the whatnots were fast enough to run this kick ass game in the 80's for i was busy watching thundercats and running around with a plastic sword hanging out the back of my shirt, kicking imaginary demons' asses and shnitz.
Step two: Boot up this amazing ass Game and get to the blue screen where you choose what other characters you are going to use. I prefer to use Razor and Syd, cause they have badass names, and are in badass bands. they both kick ass at piano, and i believe razor sings or some shit too. whatever. just dont choose the nerdy fucks, theyre no fun for what we are doing today, and only help you "correctly beat the game" and we all know how being "correct" isnt "fun" ask fox news all about that one, no fun going on whatsoever.
Step three: Listen to razor play some kick ass blues piano i dont even know why this bitch can play piano. apparently shes in a band or something, Razor and the Scumettes.
Too bad we never get to meet the Scumettes. cause theyre slutiness sounds right on point. and everyone likes girls who drink smoke and play guitar.Step Four: Let Syd hang out side and be cool. Cause thats what Syd Does best, hes a musician, and everyone knows you gotta look tough if youre in a badass band, Ask Razor, Syd, or any of those Litepunk Dave Conway bands that are always playing at the VFW..
Next have Razor go all the way up stairs, and face the third door, but dont open it yet. We're going to surprise the crazy fuckin alien inside, and i read in a brautigan that crazy fuckin aliens love surprises. something to do with san fransisco on a rainy september evening. Okay, now that razor is upstairs just chillaxin, bring badass Syd Vicious upstairs and make him stand right behind her, like poke her in the butt, right behind her.
Step daughter: Have Razor go in there. Here we meet Crazy ed, or Crazy Fred. I can't remember, these whippets are really in my brain, and no i dont mean hits of nitrous, i mean the little italian greyhounds. either way, we meet Fred or Ed, somebody, and hes going to throw Razor into the dungeon, something about Halt! Intruder! whatever..
Ok, so now you should have Razor Locked up in the dungeon, and you should have Syd where razor was before she busted in that dudes room....lets digress....Have Syd Run in there. and steal the Hamster, But leave the key card in the cage, then Rob that mother Fuckers Piggy bank at the same time
so now that your One hamster Richer, and it only cost you one lead singer. you should bust that bitch razor outta the dungeon, and have her meet up with Syd in the kitchen, right in front of the micro wave. We're gunna have us a little fun here. We're NUKIN A FUCKIN HAMSTER, thats right, The same gaming system that raised you into a moral upstanding citizen, cause your parents were too busy gettin drunk and fucking other people to raise your invalid ass, is Nintendo: THE HAMSTER COOKER. (note, dont put hamsters in your nintendo, itll break the nintendo, as for putting em in the microwave, you probably shouldnt do that either, they squeal and pop. kinda like chicken based hot dogs.)
Notice How Syd says Totally Awesome when he takes the freshly Nuked Hamster out of the microwave. that kids, is why you be in a band that isn't pop or emo. I believe Syd is into British Punk, but not the horrible kind, and by punk we definitely dont mean Saves the Day, AFI, Good Charlotte, Fall out Boy, Panic at the Disco, Sum41, Lagwagon, or any of that horrible shit. lets talk old shit, like Descendents, or Sex pistols, or Stooges, I think Descendents is as lite poppy and emo as Syd wouldve went, and he probably only listened to them when he was getting laid, but im not too sure if he was banger razor or not, i dont think he could Handle her, that bitch looks nuts, and is the lead singer of a band named the scumettes. Lets be realistic.Ok, I think im done with the writing part after all of that madness. so in a nutshell heres whats gunna go down. we're gunna have Syd the badass® run upstairs and give the crazy brautigan alien the freshly nuked hamster® and he wont recognize it at first, then he will, then hes gunna kill Syd.
The End.
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