Last night around 7:00 pm my tai I realized I had to do something. Be an idiot and want to put some pants on. So what does one do in this pre-dick-a-mint? One decides to put some pants on.
Behold a sharp stinging pain in the bottom of your left foot!
I had stepped on a bar sculpture(neon bar straws quizzically put together by tooth picks into what looks like a weather vane). 25%-45% of a toothpick slithering up my foot. Of course my karma has me belittled in its grasp, there is not a piece of the fucking thing sticking out of my foot. So what do I do? I sterilze some needles and go digging. Then I become a pussy and ask my self what the fuck would John J-mutherfuckin Rambo do! He'd tell Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer to pull the fucker out. So I calls up the girlfriend, the one I fap to. Go to the doc so the doc can lodge tweezers up an orifice in my foot. This is what I get for telling Ginkhole all those times growing up that I was going to cut a hole in his foot and fuck it. Oh well...I did get some pictures of me in the doctors room, but I couldn't get the images of the doc when he was working on me. I guess he was in an intense moment digging around in my foot because I asked him how long the numbing liquids last and he wouldn't answer. I proceeded to tell him after he told me that he failed and couldn't get it out that the little shard was going to morph my foot into a peg leg. He didn't laugh. I wanted to ask him what he went to medical school for if he tells people that he failed. He's like," Excuse me mam but your pregnancy would have been a total success it's just that I failed." That could mean a plethora of things like when he was pulling that sleek milky slimey down syndrome baby out of that moist stretched vagina he popped the head off or ripped a couple arms out. What a dudiqua. Well..just thought I'd let you know. Pics coming soon of the adventure.
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